亦欠過很多女人 .....

無賴

Rascal

填詞/作曲：李峻一編曲：Ted Lo 監製：Gary Chan

我間中飲醉酒　很喜歡自由

Sometimes I drink till I'm drunk / I like to have freedom

常犯錯愛說謊　但總會內疚

I always make mistake and I love to lie / But I do feel guilty

遇過很多的損友　學到貪新厭舊

I've met dozens of unsrupulous friends / I learned to prefer new things and abandon the old ones

亦欠過很多女人

I owe to so many women

怕結婚只會守　三分鐘諾言

I'm afraid of marriage / I never keep to my promise

曾話過要戒煙　但講了就算

I've promised to quite smoking but I was just simply saying

夢與想丟低很遠　但對返工厭倦

I've forgotten my dreams / I'm fed up of my job

自小不會打算

I'm bad in planning my life since I was little

＊但是仍　(在地球)　唯獨妳愛我這廢人

But there's still (in the world) only you who love this uselss me　

出錯妳都肯去忍

You bear my mistakes and my faults　

然而誰亦早知不會合襯

We both know that we're not suitable for each other　

偏偏妳願意等

Yet you're still willing to wait　

為何還喜歡我　我這種無賴

Why do you still love me, a rascal like me?　

是話妳蠢還是很偉大

Are you too silly or are you too generous?　

在座每位都將我踩　口碑有多壞

Everyone bashes me / No matter how bad my reputation is　

但妳亦永遠不見怪

But you never seem to care about that　

何必跟我　我這種無賴

Why are you with me, a rascal like me?　

活大半生還是很失敗

Having lived half of my life yet I'm so useless　

但是妳死都不變心　跟我笑著捱

But your faith never breaks / You struggle with me with a grin　

就算壞　我也不忍心　(偷偷作怪)

＊However bad I am / I won't be cruel enough to cheat on you

沒有根的野草　飄忽的命途

My life is like the weed without root

誰像妳當我寶　什麼也做到

Only you appreciate me / Do everything for me

舊愛數足一匹布　在這刻寫句號

My previous love is a long list / But I'm putting a full stop (period) to it

只想跟妳終老

I want only to be with you till old

REPEAT＊還喜歡我　我這種無賴

You still love me, a rascal like me

是話妳蠢還是很偉大

Are you too silly or are you too generous?

在座每位都將我踩　口碑有多壞

Everyone bashes me / No matter how bad my reputation is

但妳亦永遠不見怪

But you never seem to care about that

何必跟我　我這種無賴

Why are you with me, a rascal like me?

活大半生還是很失敗

Having lived half of my life yet I'm so useless

但是妳死都不變心　跟我拼命捱

But your faith never breaks / You struggle with me

換轉別個　也不忍心　偷偷作怪

Even if it's for others / No one will be cruel enough to cheat on you

====================================================================

Il sing this song forever .....

2 nights before

i had a dream 2 nights ago, that fact that i still remember is cause im not willing to let it go.....
every moment i keep holding on to it, constantly reminding myself.....

although it was a dream, its the only thing that makes me happy nowadays....

in my dream it starts of in a car journey filled with people i dont know....or perhaps dont remember.... except the girl next to me on my left..... at first i imagined how being sat next to you you might have had a slight look of discomfort on your face....but suddenly you just smiled back and you held my hand...... it felt so real .... it felt like that feeling i prayed for everyday....at that moment i became myself again....even if it was just for a minute.....

from then on we were dating..... we did all the things people on dates do....go out..... eat out...spend time together...go on walks with each other..... spend the nights in each others company while watching the stars together....

i felt truly happy.....

towards the end

i remember we were doing some sort of work together... i remember we were in a chinese school arranging the dinner tables for children..... all the while we joked..... we laughed together....and we shared happiness.....

and then it ended..... the cold winter..... it awoke me......

before i left that dream world i remembered your name, sophie...... it felt like a part of me i had kept away ....had awoken again....it felt like im finally beginning to remember something improtant i had forgotten

where ever you are.... please please please ....i beg ...... i pray....im down on my knees.....continue to keep sending me dreams...let me remember again.....let me remember once more who you were.....once more remind me......who i used to be.....

goodnight......if i could....in such a dream....if it ever comes around again.....let me sleep forever....cause id never want to leave you again....

goodnight .....sophie

tired of life tired of many things

im deeply sad right now, upset depressed perhaps even angry a little, although my face doesnt show it, truth is deep down, im really crying, i really want to cry out load and just someone, anyone be there and answer .... and tell me never to give up .... i have so much on my mind right now. .....just want to get it off my chest and hopefully try and make myself feel a little better, its what ive been telling people to do when they upset, i guess its my turn....

i have alot to say

where do i begin?

life, i question it, i question my purpose, and why i am here today.... im really struggling now..... its probably not even called "living" perhaps and more accurate term would be " surviving" for these last few years, ie really slaved away at work, constantly trying to improve my cooking and ability, but it just feels like im not getting anywhere ....i tell myself ive done my best....i gave it my all..... but did i really? because of work ive had to give up, perhaps sacrifice many things.....the things, the luxuries and the enjoyments of the people that they do the things they like, ive never had any of that..... and for that i envy them, but in the end i just dont have the heart to hate them, if fact i wish them all the best of life, il just continue being where i am and continue to watch from afar....

people who get to go to university, perhaps you dont realise at first but, personally i think you're all very lucky, perhaps when you get tired of it all just think for a second and show some consideration in your mind, of those of us who wanted and who really wished for and really wanted to go to university, but couldnt, not because i lack ability ....my grades had always been above average ...but just below best...... however, my parents never allowed it, instead, once i finished college i had to go straight into work, and help out at the family shop.......where ive slaved away for many years....since 1997 to be in fact.....because of the shop....

i had to give up my dreams
i had to give up my hopes of going to university
i had to give up my free time
i had to give up the love of my love
i had to give up most of my friends
and....
i had to give up my self

im no longer the person i used to be.....

so much hate...that i cant be bothered to hate no more.....

to all the lucky people in this world
to all the happy people in this world
to perhaps everyone....

treasure the things you do ave and never let it go....otherwise ou may regret it for the rest of your life....

from perhaps an unfortunate lonely sad individual from a small town where il continue to be depressed and continue praying for the one who'll bring me back to life.....

goodnight

p.s just last night, they had the annual fireworks display in the local area.... every year when i could, id take and hour off work to go and see ..... but this year, i didnt think they where that good but maybe thats just me.....i used to think they where beautiful, but i cant see the fireworks in such a way anymore.....

Confession....

i once had a relationship when i met her for the first time.....but then it became a L D R cause i realised where she was (>_<)...... so im now here in the u.k. and shes over at the other side of the world (australia, brisbane) pretty far eh? haha sometimes i consider those to be the most happiest moments of my life....yet sometimes i cant help but feel sad ......i really do still kinda miss her ( ; _ ; ) ..... i remember our relationship lasted for about 1 yr and a half...... but i eventually decided to give up and let her go..... cause i felt guilty for "keeping" her to myself....i mean like i couldnt give her the things like i used to....i couldnt perform person to person things i was just a voice on the other side of a computer monitor...id walk around in parks and id see couples everywhere...i couldnt give her anything like that...i felt like i was selfish trying to hold on to something i couldnt even reach anymore........ truth is i couldnt say it..... so i decided to just ignore her.....i quit speaking to her on msn and social networks and emails and etc...... and till this very day i still regret it....in fact after just a month i wanted to get in contact again...but i fell ill and had to remain in hospital for long periods of time.....so i couldnt even if i wanted.......
several years later i found her again on facebook..... and after long period of time.....i gathered the courage to speak to her again.....and so now we're just friends.........its good enough for me and im happy again that shes returned into my life...... just as friends though......and to be honest im satisfied with just that ..... or am i really?

Sometimes.....

sometimes i just want to break down.
sometimes i just want to give up.
sometimes i just want to cry.
sometimes i just want to scream.
sometimes i just want to love.
sometimes i just want to be alone.
sometimes i just want to hate.
sometimes i just want to die.
sometimes i just want to live.
sometimes i just want to reach my goal.
sometimes i just want to push myself.
sometimes i just want to bleed.
sometimes i just want to eat and eat.
sometimes i just want to know why people live, why people have feelings, why people do the things they do.
sometimes im so lost.

i just wanna....

i swear one day im gonna make it....
this cursed hold you got on me.... il break it....

ever wonder how your last moments of your life could end up? ever wondered what you'd do with the time left available to you?

cause if it was up to me.... id....

go to london > trafalgar square (probably spelt wrong) in front of hundreds of people i never even seen before and il just ROCK!!!!! bringing japanese style rock to the populace.....

with this guitar

id rock so hard until my fingers bled
id rock so hard it would piss off the other entertainers in the square
id rock so hard it would startle all the birds and watch as they all fly away
id rock so hard that crowds of fans would gather
id rock so hard that the pigeons wouldnt even dare come close and sh*t on us
id rock so hard that id cough out blood and signify that the end is near

oh yeah.... and our band would be called SOMA (^^,)

yeah yeah keep dreaming weirdo (lol and now im talking to myself)

ha ha ha oyasumi all!

dreams

in my lifetime i had always thought: "sleeping gives us the ambition to dream . . .but steals from us the time to accomplish our dreams" i hope i could sleep forever and live in my dreams where i can find eternal hapiness,,,,,..... than rather facing reality and try to live like my dream while knowing that it will be more difficult i dream of a girl . . . .i wish to be by her side forever . . .but it could never happen..... my life had always seemed like i was living in a nightmare when will the time come for me to awake? i had always thought about whne im older i would go and live in the antartic, although cold i know they get 24hr sunlight day after day, at least if i did move my life would be better than the darkness im surrounding in in my life . . .